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    David Wolf

    Jew Score:
    12

    I4

    O4

    K4
    August 23, 1956 —

    Did you know that you — yes, YOU — can time travel? For real. We're not kidding.

    All you need to do is become an astronaut. Tall order, we know, but not completely out of realm of possibility, even for us Jews!

    Then you need to go into space... for a while. You see, because of spacecraft's fast speed, objects in orbit actually age slower than their counterparts on Earth.

    Take astronaut David Wolf, for instance. He has been in space for 168 days, eight hours, and 57 minutes — the most ever for a Jew! In that time, he has time traveled into the future by... give us a minute for calculations... 42 milliseconds. Give or take a couple.

    So, no, the effect is not exactly spectacular. But here are worse news: if you go far enough into space, you actually age faster than you would on Earth.

    On second thought... let's pass on time travel!

    Verdict: Jew.

    January 2, 2015

    See Also

    Honi HaM'agel

    Jeffrey Hoffman

    Theodore von Karman

    Jessica Meir

    Mark Polansky
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