Here's something we can't figure out: why do people keep suggesting that we profile Jennifer Love Hewitt?

She doesn't look Jewish. She doesn't act Jewish. She is not Jewish. Then why?

Perhaps it's because she plays a Jew in the movie "Jewtopia"?

You haven't heard of it? Well, we're here to remedy that. Here, let us summarize:

"Jewtopia" is a story of a goy who falls for a Jewish woman and pretends to be Jewish for her.

Doesn't ring a bell? It's fairly recent. We watched it. Yes, Jennifer Love Hewitt plays a Jew. We'll let the critics say the rest:

"Offensive to almost everyone." "An appalling array of hideous ethic and gender stereotypes." "Witless and asinine." "Watching it will give you a vision of hell."

No. It can't be this movie. There is no way all these suggesters watched that dreck.

Then why?