Dear Jews,

Were you planning to marry a gentile? And if so, were you planning on bringing him or her over to our side? It seems like a good idea, no?

It often does. One exception: Roseanne bringing Tom Arnold into the fold. The marriage is long over, but he remains a Jew.

We didn't need another bad Jewish actor. We definitely didn't need another Jewish comedian. Another Jewish fat man? No thank you, we'll pass.

Unfortunately for her, Roseanne didn't.