Dear Mr. Singer,

It's us, Jew or not Jew. No, we haven't profiled you yet. It's about time, isn't it? Well, here you go.

We're writing to you, Mr. Singer, because we just learned of your next movie. You are adapting "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea", one of our favorite books of all time. We should be excited, shouldn't we?

We're not, Mr. Singer. You adaptation is said to be a "retelling". That doesn't bode well.

Mr. Singer, this is a classic. Please stay away from needless additions. Please don't make Captain Nemo a martial artist. Please don't introduce an unnecessary love interest. Please don't make Jules Verne turn over in his grave.

Your K Score will rest on this "retelling", Mr. Singer. Do you want to be disappointed that we finally profiled you?

(Editor's update, January 23, 2019: So much for that K Score.)