For the past couple of hours, we've been sitting in front of our computer, trying to profile Katie Ledecky. Here are some of our false starts:

"JONJ Headquarters are a busy place during the Olympics." We were going to write about our constant search for hidden Jews at the games.

"Some say that Katie Ledecky swims like a man." We even had a closing sentence: "Most men wish that they could swim like Katie Ledecky."

"Katie Ledecky is better at swimming that you will ever be at anything." That was just going to be a glorious portrayal of the star Olympian.

"Mark Spitz might be the greatest Jewish swimmer of all time, but he might have competition soon." We'd explain that Ledecky is a quarter Jewish, raised Catholic, but we'd gladly take her.

"For the past couple of hours, we've been sitting in front of our computer, trying to profile Katie Ledecky." Yep, that'll work...