Don't do it!

You're sitting at home, not able to sleep, turning TV channels, and one of those late-night commercials comes on. (No, none of this is autobiographical at all!) And there's Jillian Michaels, peddling one of those fitness machines.

Hmmm, this makes sense, you think. Look at how handsome Jillian's body is! And she got all those losers in shape... And the price is not too terrible...

Don't do it!

You know what will do if you buy that machine? You will use it ONCE. It will stand there in the middle of your basement, collecting dust and stubbing your toes. Oh, you will stub your toes on it! Time and again!

We repeat: none of this is autobiographical. We're... absolutely happy with our shape.

Don't do it!