As everyone remembers from Hebrew school, Jacob had twelve sons, including his favorite, Joseph. (That favoritism didn't end well.) But what about his only daughter, Dinah? Can't forget Dinah...

You know who couldn't forget Dinah? Shechem, the Canaanite prince. He kidnapped and raped her. Yep, this is gonna be one of THOSE Biblical stories...

After the, ahem, incident, Shechem's dad Hamor came to Jacob and said, you know what? Rape is not cool and everything, so let's smooth it out? Dinah can marry Shechem, and how about you send other Hebrew women to mate with the Canaanites? And we'll send our women for your sons? (You got a bunch of sons, don't you?) Good deal, no?

Fine, Jacob said. Good deal, on one condition: your men have to get circumcised! (It is one of THOSE stories!)

Hamor agreed, and the Canaanites got their foreskin chopped. While they recovering from the operation, two of Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, went into Hamor's city and... killed all the men, including the prince and his father. Oh, and there was some plundering. Can't go wrong with plundering!

Simeon and Levi took Dinah back to her family, specifically to Simeon himself, who then... married her.

Oh, those Biblical stories!