"Goggles, please," said the chemistry teacher. His stomach was protruding from the patented white lab coat. He was not going to take any nonsense today. "Goggles," he reiterated. "Yes, you, in the back of the class. GOGGLES ON!"

Jeez, we heard you. Goggles on!

Now that we are older, we look back at our youthful ignorance and can only shake our head. Did we really have to give the teacher such a hard time? It's just goggles, for crying out loud! We didn't want to end up like Julius Axelrod, did we?

Julius Axelrod, who wanted to become a doctor, but was rejected from every medical school (antisemitism, natch). So he became a biochemist, eventually winning the Nobel in MEDICINE (take that, antisemites!) But before Axelrod got to that, he had an ammonia bottle explode in his face, which caused him to lose an eye. He was lucky not to lose both! Should have worn those goggles...

We hope our apology is not too late, chemistry teacher.