The truth hurts, doesn't it, Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts!

The truth might have hurt in "Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear", but in real life, Robert Goulet, the actor who portrayed the diabolical Quentin Hapsburg, was hurt by a lie. Back in the 1960s, Goulet said that his real name was Stanley Applebaum.

He claimed that it was a joke; nevertheless, he spent the next 40 years of his life trying to suppress it. Numerous reference works claimed that Applebaum was his true name; Goulet's own website has a whole page devoted to setting it straight. Yes, Goulet likes Jews. Yes, he has worked with numerous Jews. Yes, if he was Jewish, he would not deny it. NO, HE IS NOT STANLEY APPLEBAUM.

So, finally, after his years of struggle to regain his identity, we can put Robert Goulet in is proper place.

Looks like the cows have come home to roost.