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    Mikhail Mishustin

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    March 3, 1966 —

    Back in 2008, Russian overlord Vladimir Putin hatched a brilliant plan to stay in power. To avoid term limits, he became prime minister, while PM Dmitry Medvedev became president (in name only). Four years later, they swapped, and Putin was free to officially reign for two more terms... which Medvedev was kind enough to extend to six years each.

    In doing the swap, Putin continued Russia's famed Bald-Hairy legacy. Somehow, dating back to the czars in the early 19th century, Russia alternated bald rulers with ones with hair. Take the post-revolution era: Lenin (bald) → Stalin (hair) → Khrushchev (bald) → Brezhnev (hair) → Andropov (bald) → Chernenko (hair) → Gorbachev (bald) → Yeltsin (hair) → Putin (bald) → Medvedev (hair) → Putin (bald).

    A new election is coming up in Russia in 2024, and Putin has something new up his sleeve. He wants to get rid of term limits completely, which would effectively make him czar. If that fails, he has a new prime minister lackey, Mikhail Mishustin. Alas, installing Mishustin will break the Bald-Hairy legacy, so we're pretty sure Putin will do whatever possible to keep the presidential title.

    Oh, and Mishustin is half Jewish. Don't expect a Jew-Goy legacy, that's for sure...

    Verdict: Borderline Jew.

    June 19, 2020

    See Also

    Mikhail Gorbachev

    Vladimir Lenin

    Dmitry Medvedev

    Yevgeny Primakov

    Vladimir Putin
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