As some of you know, there are antisemitic websites out there that list people who antisemites think are secretly Jewish. And yeah, they get some right, they're bound to, but then there are some eyebrow raisers. Like Kevin Costner. Because, you know, Jews run Hollywood, and Kevin Costner...

Yeah, it's absurd. But American antisemites have nothing on their Russian counterparts. For there are Russian websites that not only list these secret Jews, but also give their real Jewish name and family history.

And who is on that list? Everyone who was ever anything in Russia, including every leader since the czars. For instance, the now-departed drunkard Boris Yeltsin (Eltzman). The currently-beloved Vladimir Putin (Shalomov. Or Putzman. Yes, Putzman. We're not making this up. THEY are.)

Even Mikhail Gorbachev, yes, even poor Gorby is on this list. His Jew name? Gaider. Perhaps his mysterious red spot is the unwashed blood of Christian babies.

Sigh.

But here's one thing, Russian antisemites. If EVERYONE in Russia is Jewish, how did YOU escape that curse?