Today, we have a bone to pick with the Guinness Book of World Records. Yes, you, the famed bet-settling advertisement for Ireland's magic brew! We're gunning for you.

The subject? "Most married Hollywood stars." According to Guinness, the title is held by Lana Turner, Georgia Holt, Mickey Rooney, Zsa Zsa Gabor (we wouldn't call her a star, but whatever), and Elizabeth Taylor, who were all married eight times. (What, no Larry King? He's also had eight, and played the Ugly Stepsister in a Shrek sequel... not to mention appearing in over 50 movies as "Larry King"... talk about range!)

Guinness is forgetting Kenneth Harlan. Yeah, we know, not exactly a household name, but take a look at his number of credits: an earth-shattering 201! And Harlan wasn't a background extra or a bit player, he was one of Hollywood's leading men of the silent era, usually playing the romantic lead. (All while hiding his Halachically Jewish heritage under his father's goyishe name.)

Harlan's total? An astonishingly incomprehensible number: nine wives. Get that eraser out, Guinness!