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    Chris Wallace

    Jew Score:
    9

    I4

    O2

    K3
    October 12, 1947 —

    We've always wondered why a Jew — any Jew — would ever name their child Chris. There are so many cromulent names out there, why settle on... that?

    Sometimes the spouse is goyishe, and puts on the pressure for such an inappropriate moniker. Not in Chris Wallace's case, however. His father was 60 Minutes veteran Mike Wallace, a proud Jew. His mother was Jewish as well. Then... what gives?

    Turns out that he was named Chris because he was born on Columbus Day. Errr...

    Pretty weak, if you ask us. Columbus Day? Of all the lame holidays out there... What if he was born on Washington's birthday, would he have been named George? Good thing he wasn't born on December 25th, right, because then... Jesus? Jesus Wallace?

    On second thought, Chris doesn't seem that bad by comparison!

    Verdict: Jew.

    April 9, 2021

    See Also

    Christopher Columbus

    John King

    Morley Safer

    Mike Wallace

    Paula Zahn
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