We were watching a bunch of throwing events at the Tokyo Olympics (mostly because track and field is one of the few sports broadcasted live in our timezone), and we have a few comments:

Hammer: They throw a ball on a rope. How is that a hammer? They've got nothing on Thor! We'd even settle for something out of a toolbox. Heck, if you really want, attach it to a rope.

Shot put: At least a hammer is a real thing. What the hell is a shot put? Apparently, in the middle ages they threw cannonballs. Now that would be something to see.

Javelin: This just looks dangerous. You know the people who run around and measure these? One of them is bound to get hit by a javelin an then... (Quick research: this has happened. OUCH!)

Discus: We know these are athletes. But they are, oh, how do you put it... fat. Stomachs hanging out and everything. That being said, it's amazing how lithe they are on their feet! And look at that, Sam Mattis, who had the best American finish, 8th: