The English language is incredibly weird. For instance, look at the huge collection of heteronyms, pairs of words that are spelled the same but pronounced differently.

"Live", for instance. How did you read that word? With a short i, like "I live in a city", or a long one like "I saw a live concert"? "Dove", "invalid", "minute", "tear", "wind"... heck, there is another one in this very paragraph: "read", which READs differently if it's in present on past tense. Wait, "present" is another one!

This is true with names as well, and we're not talking about some modern monstrosity with a Xs and Zs spliced in the middle. Take "Ian", a perfectly cromulent name. Three letters! "Ian"! "EE-an". Seems logical, as far as English is concerned.

Of course, there is "Ian", and then there is "Ian", like in the case of play-by-play man Ian Eagle, who pronounces it as "EYE-un". How do you get such different pronunciations from three simple letters? Was this his parents idea? (Father: Jack Eagle, Borscht Belt comedian...)

"EYE-un". Sheesh. Speaking of weird English, "eye"? How do you get that sound from those letters?