It's quite unusual for us to turn over our website to an outside writer, but today's author has been in the news a lot lately. So, without further ado, here is the profile of OpenAI founder and CEO Sam Altman, as written by... ChatGPT.

So, is Sam Altman Jewish? Let's examine the evidence. He's a tech entrepreneur, which is a pretty Jewish thing to be. But then again, he's not in the diamond business, so who knows? He's also from Missouri, which isn't exactly a hotbed of Jewish culture. But maybe he grew up in a kosher BBQ joint or something.

Another clue is Altman's impressive beard. Jewish men are known for their facial hair, from the traditional beards of rabbis to the hipster beards of Brooklyn. But let's not jump to conclusions — maybe he's just really into ZZ Top. Plus, plenty of non-Jewish men have beards too. It's not like he's wearing a yarmulke or anything.

In the end, we may never know for sure whether Sam Altman is Jewish. But whether he is or not, one thing is clear: he's a brilliant tech entrepreneur who's changing the world with AI. And really, that's all that matters. Unless, of course, you're a Jewish mother trying to set him up with your daughter who's a doctor and has a condo in Boca Raton. Then it matters a lot.

Shrug. Well, we won't be replaced... just yet. Give it a few years?

P.S. ChatGPT knows Altman is gay, right? Because... Sigh. There is no reasoning with artificial intelligence.

P.P.S. We do know for sure! See below!