Have you heard about the half-Jewish Russian military man who tried to stage a coup against the president? No, not that one. This one.

Before Yevgeny Prigozhin and his pathetic attempt, there was Lev Rokhlin. Back in 1998, the decorated general decided to overthrow "forever drunk face, American puppet" Boris Yeltsin. (His words, not ours; correct on the first assessment, not so much on the second?)

Apparently, Rokhlin got enough military backing to stage his coup. He was all ready to go, when he decided to visit that most Russian of establishments, the bathhouse. Not able to keep his mouth shut (how could he among all the heat, vodka, birch brooms, and naked men?), he spilled his plans.

A week later, he was murdered by... his wife, who shot him in his bed because of "a hostile relationship". At least that's the official story. (A hostile relationship is status quo for all Russian marriages. Supposedly, there were three masked assassins, themselves found dead after doing the deed. Oh, Russia!) And that was it for the coup.

A year later, Yeltsin abdicated, Putin took over, and Russia has been hunky-dory since!