"Ivanhoe is the story of a Russian farmer and his tool." — Bart Simpson

Oh, dear Bart, how wrong you were... Starting with your pronunciation of the Russian name Ivan, natch.

Of course, Ivanhoe has nothing to do with farming. (The book, at least. The Ivanhoe Farming Company is one of the leading producers of potatoes in South Africa.) It is an epic tale from Scottish author Walter Scott that reintroduced characters like Robin Hood and King Richard the Lionheart into the collective conscience. Oh, and it has rare, positive portrayal of a Jewish character.

Two characters, actually. Isaac of York, a money lender (Oh-oh. Are we sure it's positive?) and his daughter, the beautiful Rebecca. (In the picture on the left, portrayed by Elizabeth Taylor in the 1952 film.) There is even a love triangle between the titular character (Whose actual name is Wilfred? Now that's definitely not Russian...), Rebecca, and the goyishe Rowena. When given a choice, Ivanhoe would probably prefer Rebecca, except for that one thing... Well, you know. (Again, this is all very positive!)

At the end, Rebecca and her father leave England for Spain, and Ivanhoe ends up with Rowena.

Perhaps the story contains a tool after all.