Coming to you from a deli — no, not a Kosher deli, they don't really exist anymore — it's the annual — no, wait, not annual — biennial? — no, when is the last time we did this? 2020??? — it's the Jewie Awards! Cue the klezmer!

Let's go straight to the category for Jewiest Athlete Name. How do we decide which name is more Jewy? We kvetch about it! The nominees are:

From hockey and the Edmonton Oilers, it's Zach Hyman. A terrific year for Hyman, he was ripping the nets! From the Olympics and rugby, it's Sarah Levy. Wow, that one will be tough to beat. From soccer and Atlanta United... wait, isn't United from Minnesota? Or that garbage team from DC? They really have no imagination with names, these soccer teams! It's goalkeeper Josh Cohen. And back to the Olympics and the hammer throw, it's Ethan Katzberg. Yeah, we know he is not Jewish, but come on, his name is Ethan Katzberg. If there ever was a shoe-in for Jewiest Athlete Name...

What do you know? It's not Katzberg at all! Our distinguished panel has settled on the soccer guy. Seriously, Joshua Cohen? It doesn't get Jewier than that!

Come back next year for more Jewie Awards! Of course, at this pace, it might take us until 2028...