"Jewish" words used for names by goyim, ranked by how unlikely Jews themselves are to use them: (We've already profiled many of these!)
- ISRAEL Kamakawiwo'ole, musician. At this point, the goyim have pretty much appropriated "Israel". Oh well.
- ALIYAH Boston, basketball player. She is not enacting the Law of Return anytime soon.
- HANNUKKAH Wallace, bobsledder. At least we would spell it right.
- SHALOM Harlow, model. Or, if you want, SHALOM Luani, football player. Works for goyishe girls and boys!
- RABBI Matondo, soccer player. Sure, it's pronounced "Rab-ee". As. If!
- TORAH Bright, snowboarder. "Tora" by itself might be fine, but once you add that "h", you're encroaching.
- ZAYDE Wisdom, hockey player. That's his name. Grandfather Wisdom. We're just gonna shrug.
- ELOHIM Prandi, handball player. Oh, Elohim is such a no-no...
- ADONAI Mitchell, football player. But is Elohim a bigger no-no than Adonai? How will Orthodox Jews who cover the NFL write about the wide receiver for the Indianapolis Colts? It's a real problem!
- JEW Don Boney, politician. No.
