April 13, 1743 – July 4, 1826
A couple of years ago, researches tried to figure out if Thomas Jefferson had any children with his slave-turned-mistress, Sally Hemings. So they took some DNA from a Jefferson descendant, some from a Hemings descendant (thankfully, grave robbing was not necessary), and came up with an astonishing result.
Oh, we don't know if the DNAs were a match. We skimmed over that part. Honestly, how could we be concerned with a Founding Father doing the hokey-pokey with a black woman, when far important revelations were uncovered.
Thomas Jefferson was a Jew.
Not exactly: Thomas Jefferson might have been a Jew.
Not exactly: Thomas Jefferson's ancestor might have been a Jew.
Not exactly: Thomas Jefferson's ancestor might have come from the Middle East.
That's... still something, right? No? Rats.
Verdict: Sadly, not a Jew.
April 21, 2009