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    Thomas Jefferson

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    April 13, 1743 – July 4, 1826

    A couple of years ago, researches tried to figure out if Thomas Jefferson had any children with his slave-turned-mistress, Sally Hemings. So they took some DNA from a Jefferson descendant, some from a Hemings descendant (thankfully, grave robbing was not necessary), and came up with an astonishing result.

    Oh, we don't know if the DNAs were a match. We skimmed over that part. Honestly, how could we be concerned with a Founding Father doing the hokey-pokey with a black woman, when far important revelations were uncovered.

    Thomas Jefferson was a Jew.

    Not exactly: Thomas Jefferson might have been a Jew.

    Not exactly: Thomas Jefferson's ancestor might have been a Jew.

    Not exactly: Thomas Jefferson's ancestor might have come from the Middle East.

    That's... still something, right? No? Rats.

    Verdict: Sadly, Not a Jew.

    April 21, 2009

    See Also

    John Adams

    Dwight Eisenhower

    Alexander Hamilton

    Abraham Lincoln

    Franklin Roosevelt
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