Dear Jewish college students,

Today, as an experiment, please call your mother and tell her you're dropping out of school.

There will be some crying and screaming. We guarantee that the words "over my dead body" will be used. At the end of the call, she'll be telling you to expect her tomorrow, as she will be moving into your dorm room.

So here we have USC defensive back Taylor Mays, regarded as one of the best prospects in the country (and oh yes, he is Jewish, even bar mitzvahed). He could have declared for the 2009 NFL Draft, where he was certain to be a first round pick. He could have made millions.

But no. He stayed in college, postponing his dreams for a year so he could graduate. And with a Jewish mother, does that come as a surprise at all?

(Please note: JONJ is not responsible for your children dropping out of school. Don't write to us, dear Jewish mothers. Please. Dealing with our own mothers is hard enough.)