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    Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

    Jew Score:
    13

    I4

    O5

    K4

    As our readers know, we put a lot of research into our profiles. Countless websites are browsed in search of that elusive Jew or Not Jew proof, references are checked, cross-checked, and then checked again. We try our best, dear readers. For YOU.

    But what happens when the information out there is conflicting? We're talking about the heritage of the Conan O'Brien's late night co-star — Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog.

    According to Triumph's official website, his father, "a toy Rottweiler, sang in Yiddish Theater". But it's his mother that we're having issues with. The website claims that she is a "sleek Afghan" who "looks like Celine Dion". So that would make Triumph half Jewish, right?

    But then there's Triumph's performance on last year's Chabad Telethon, when the yarmulke-wearing canine sang a tribute to his "Yiddish mama". The good folks at Chabad were even so kind to put up a photo. And in that photo, Triumph's now-Yiddish mother did not look at all Afghani (although there is a passing resemblance to Miss Dion).

    So what is it? Does Triumph only claim to be half-Jewish on his official website, as not to lose that goyim audience? But when performing for Jews, the truth comes out? Or, perhaps his birth mother was an Afghan, but his "Yiddish mama" (really, step-mama) raised him after the Celine Dion lookalike left his father and ran off with her manager?

    It's hard to tell. But even with all these uncertainties, one thing is clear:

    Verdict: Jew.

    January 15, 2010

    See Also

    ALF

    Louis C.K.

    Canaan Dog

    Einstein (sheepdog)

    Don Rickles
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