Oy, vey! I tell you, I relish these times when they keep me in the box. You'd think that I like being in the spotlight? Please! If you've been doing this mishegas for 70 years, you'll get tired too, kid.
Charlie and I used to get together after shows... You remember Charlie, right? Charles Francis Horse was his full name. Good mensch. Charlie used to say, doesn't this shit get old? Day after day, doing the same song and dance. And I would say, nah, Charlie, it's for the kids! Screw the kids, Charlie would say. He turned out to be right, that Charlie.
Then there was Hush Puppy... Never liked that one. You know we were supposed to be siblings, Hush, Charlie, and I? A dog, a horse, and a sheep? What kind of perverted show were they running back then?
Hush was from the South, so we never got along. You see what my bio says? I'm a "liberal Jewish Democrat"! Hush? Don't get me started. It was all a ruse, though. That dog was as queer as a three-dollar bill.
Maybe I didn't like Hush because he took Charlie away from me? Hard to tell, it's all so hard to remember... We did a lot of drugs back in the day.
You know what I don't miss? Having a hand stuck up my tuchas for hours on end. Now put me back in the box!
