Faithful reader, you got us. There is no way Marilyn Manson is Jewish. So why the hell are we profiling him on this website?

Well, attempt to follow our thinking. A while back, there was a rumor that Manson was in real life Josh Saviano. Who the hell is Josh Saviano? The actor who played Paul Pfeiffer on "The Wonder Years", the uber-Jew-geek who would have scored perfect 5s on our I and O Scores if we ever profiled him. (Although if we've profiled Saviano himself, those scores would have been a bit lower, considering that "o" at the end of his name had to come from somewhere else.)

Alas, it is not true. Marilyn Manson is really Brian Hugh Warner, and definitely, definitely, not Jewish (raised Episcopalian, if you're wondering). And frankly, we're very glad.

Was it worth all that to make sure Manson isn't Jewish? We think so.