So, the World Cup is starting, and we couldn't be more excited. A month full of non-stop soccer... the wife is dreading it already.

But where are the Jews? Sure, the American team has Jonathan Bornstein and Benny Feilhaber, but as for the other squads?

Perhaps we can find a Jew on Argentina? After all, last time around, the perennial favorites were coached by a Jew (Jose Pekerman) and captained by a Jew (Juan Pablo Sorin).

Ah, here we go. Walter Samuel. Samuel? That can be Jewish. He is one of the best defenders in the world, recently helping his club team, Inter Milan, to the ultra-prestigious Champions League title. And here he is, on various lists of Argentine Jews. And here...

Wait, something is not right. Samuel is not his real last name; it's Lujan. Walter never knew his father, was raised by his single mother, and took his stepfather's last name as a teenager.

And considering Samuel's mother watches his games next to a statue of a Virgin Mary, is seems to be safe to assume that neither he nor her are Jewish.

Oh well. We'll have to settle for Bornstein and Feilhaber.