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    Johnny Weir

    Jew Score:



    July 2, 1984 —

    Professional figure skater/crossdresser Johnny Weir was raised Roman Catholic. Ah, but there's more to it than that.

    You see, Johnny has "discovered" that in a previous life he was actually a little Jewish girl who was killed in the Holocaust. Ummmmm, OK? How Johnny reached this conclusion is a little unclear. Honestly, it doesn't seem like the kinda claim one should just be throwing around.

    Do Jews even believe in reincarnation? Not really. We're big on the whole "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" thing. Which can be reinterpreted (ashes become fertilizer which grows plants which gets eaten by cows which gets eaten by people which feeds proteins into the reproductive system...) as a kind of reincarnation. But that's probably not what Johnny has in mind. So can someone be a reincarnated Jew when a Jew is fairly certain he can't be reincarnated? Dizzying, we know.

    Now, Johnny doesn't seem committed to one religion or the other. Though he does say that he is "open" to all kinds of religious thought, including (you guessed it), everyone's favorite celebrity-endorsed Judaism: Kabbalah. Which makes perfect sense if you... wait. Actually it really makes no sense at all.

    Yes, it's all becoming quite clear to us now. We don't actually have the necessary verdict in our matrix for this one, so we'll just drop it in manually.

    Verdict: Batshit Crazy.

    Oh, and of course:

    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    July 7, 2010

    See Also

    Benjamin Agosto

    Jason Brown

    Marcel Duchamp

    Joyce Hyser

    Richard Simmons
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