Shhhh... Try to keep this a secret. Don't tell anyone, OK?

Richard Simmons is Halachically Jewish.

Is that too hard to read? What about now?

Richard Simmons is Halachically Jewish.

Oops. Looks like the cat is out of the bag.

Yep... Richard Simmons, the man behind Sweating to the Oldies, the man who calls himself "extreme Catholic", the man who is one of the most annoying people on the face of the Earth, has a Jewish mother. Oh, don't worry, we can't rate him anything above "Barely a Jew", for he converted out as a child. Nevertheless...

Richard Simmons is Halachically Jewish!

Why are secrets so hard to keep?