Somewhere, past the northern seas, in the middle of the frigid ocean, lies a mystical island called Ice-land.

Ice-land is as cold as its name. The only deterrence to its forever-snow-covered soil are the hot water fountains that spring from the ground to bathe the island's inhabitants with their unseasonable warmth.

Ice-land's men are the descendants of fierce warriors. They spend their days fishing, except for a recent time when the entire island turned to banking, but that did not last. The most favorite fish of the land is a salty, slimy specimen known as the herring.

Ice-land's women are known for their blond hair and statuesque beauty. In fact, the island's first minister is a blond woman of the Amazonian persuasion.

The ruler of Ice-land is a ruler in name only. He spends his days idling and dining with foreign visitors, letting the Amazonian first minister to run the island.

When the ruler's first wife passed on, he could have had his pick of blond, statuesque beauties. Instead, he decided to wed a Jewish woman from a far away land. Some say that she is the only Jew in all of Ice-land. It is believed that they bonded over herring.

Oh, if only this Ice-land place was real...