Could we, as Jews, ever enjoy the music of Richard Wagner?

We can't. Wagner might be the greatest composer in the history of the world, but we couldn't care less. He was an antisemite, so we'd rank him somewhere below Kenny G and above our own attempt to play the triangle in grade school. (On second thought, scratch that. We rocked that triangle. Somewhere between Kenny G and fingernails on a chalkboard.)

So how on earth does Wagner escape the 0 Club? Well, believe it or not, there were rumors during his life that he was a self-loathing Jew, somewhat fueled by his large nose, his birthplace in Leipzig's Jewish quarter, and Wagner's own paranoid belief that he had Jewish ancestry.

Thankfully, that was not the case. Wagner was not a self-loathing Jew; he was a plain old antisemite.

(On third thought, fingernails on a chalkboard do bring back some childhood memories. We'll put Wagner somewhere between Kenny G and a pig squeal. That should do it.)