The sweetest job in all of television is, without a doubt, that of Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men. Charlie earns over one million dollars per episode to pretend to sleep with a different gorgeous woman each week. (His character even has his name. As if a different one would have made things too difficult.)

Of course, that didn't stop Charlie from going off the deep end and almost quitting the show to be in rehab. We didn't say Charlie was sane. Just that he had the sweetest job in TV.

The sweetest job for a non-adult television star? Well that would be Angus T. Jones, Charlie's co-star on Two and a Half Men. Angus is the highest paid child actor on television (seriously) and in exchange performs such hard-to-replicate acts as eating copious amounts of food and pretending to fart.

That leaves Jon Cryer who has neither the sweetest job in TV nor the sweetest job for a non-adult on TV and rather just makes a modest (by TV actor standards we're sure) salary for being the butt of everyone's jokes. And since he is clearly the lesser of the threesome, it's led a good number of people to wonder if maybe, possibly, Cryer might be Jewish. Since that would fit the profile and all.

We'll let Jon take it from here:

Cryer: Well, I am a pseudo Jew... sort of honorary... I was raised by a pack of wild Jewish wolves.

Uh-huh. Yeah. So that would be a "no" then. Unless he meant Barry and Irene Wolf from Succasauna, NJ. Cause then...

Anyway, you get the point.