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    Scott Ian

    Jew Score:



    (Scott Ian Rosenfeld)
    December 31, 1963 —

    When we were boys, we went to temple. And Hebrew school. And Sunday school (yes, Jewish sunday school. Because why ruin just Friday nights when you can eff up the whole darn weekend for a young man?). For this we got a bar mitzvah, a confirmation, and an obsession with our own culture that lead us to write hundreds upon hundreds of somewhat hilarious profiles. So it wasn't a complete waste. Right?


    Well there was one other thing: we met a number of nice Jewish boys (there were few girls at our temple. Yeah. We know. It was the urine dressing on the crap salad that was our childhood). These were good, little boys who studied hard, did well at school (so long as we don't count athletics), and went on to productive lives as accountants or doctors or whatever.

    Anyway, we grew up, we moved on, we lost touch with most of those mensches. We started this website. And all of a sudden all these bad ass rocker Jews showed up for us to profile. For instance, Scott Ian. (he dropped the Rosenfeld when he became hardcore. We can't imagine why).

    Where the heck was this guy when we were growing up? His goatee alone was cooler than anything at our temple. He seems like the kind of guy that would have been out smoking by the sukkah before services. Sneaking extra Manischewitz during oneg. Making out with the cute chicks after Hebrew school (y'know, if we had cute chicks at Hebrew school. Which we didn't. But you get the point).

    So where were all these kick ass Jews?! Oh. You say rockers like Scott Ian probably never went to temple? Well that would explain a good many things.

    Verdict: Jew.

    February 8, 2011

    See Also

    Zack de la Rocha

    David Draiman

    Geddy Lee

    David Lee Roth

    Evan Seinfeld
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