We'll probably get some slack for saying it, but let it be out there: Jewish dancing sucks.
We can see the frowning already. But think about it, dear Jews. Remove your own attachment and recall the latest wedding you attended. And all the Jews got in a circle, and started holding hands, and...
We're right, aren't we? A lot of hand holding, a lot of clapping, a lot of running in circles (or sometimes, to mix it up, in lines(!)), a lot of hopping, some leg kicking... Oh sure, it's all in good fun, especially if you get a couple of drinks in you, but come on, let's get real here. Jewish dancing is pretty terrible.
Not to say there are not many good Jewish dancers. And we're not talking about the professionals on "Dancing with the Stars" here. We're talking about someone considered the greatest ballerina of all time, Anna Pavlova. Whether she was Jewish as up to debate, but biographers now seem to agree that Anna's father was Jewish financier Lazar Polyakov.
Which is all great and everything. It's just not gonna help us during the next wedding.