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    Goblins (Warcraft)

    Jew Score:




    By 2010 population, it is the 72nd largest nation on Earth, about the same size as Greece or three times the size of Ireland or five million more residents than Israel... Anyway, you get the point.

    It is spread across three continents, has its own banks, public transportation, holidays, mail, government, and economy. Celebrities such as Mr. T, William Shatner, and Ozzy Osbourne have all claimed citizenship.

    Is this a new country announcing its sudden prominence on the national stage? A territory soon to be applying for statehood? Oh hardly. It's World of Warcraft — the mummorpurger (that's massively multiplayer online role playing game for you noobs) that all other online experiences aspire to be.

    All jokes about dudes who live in their parents' basements aside, this kind of staggering attendance means it was only a matter of time before someone said WOW, are there any Jews in this here fictional universe?

    Probably not. The best anyone has come up with so far is the newly anointed player race: the Goblins (they were just quest-giving window dressing heretofore). They have big noses. They're greedy. So...?

    Yeah, no. Just no.

    Sadly, the Jewish video game character is still as rare as the female video game player. But if the choice is little green schmucks who can't be bothered to not blow themselves up half the time or nothing, well, you know what we're choosing.

    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    July 8, 2011

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    Little Mac

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