"You should get on Twitter," we were told.

"Why?", we asked.

"Everyone is on it!"

"Why?"

"You can follow celebrities!"

"Why?"

"So you can see what they are doing!"

"Why?"

"Well, for example, you can see that Zooey Deschanel posted a picture of a Happy Hanukkah sign!"

"Why?"

"So you could tell the world that she is Jewish!"

"Why?"

"On second thought, maybe she just went to a Hanukkah party..."

"Why?"

"Fine! Fine! Enough already!"

We're not getting on Twitter.

(Editor's update, November 9, 2015: What do you know? She actually converted! We're still not getting on Twitter.)