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    Jessica Biel

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    March 3, 1982 —

    To those readers who will be trigger-happy to accuse us of chauvinism after reading this profile: we didn't come up with the idea below! Blame TV critics Alan Sepinwall and Dan Fienberg, both Jews. Now, without further ado...

    There's a fun game we play at JONJ Headquarters: Hot Jewish Actress Mount Rushmore. It often results in hour-long arguments filled with casual insults. There are no winners. Wait, did we just call it fun?

    Basically, all you do is pick the four hottest Jewish actresses based on some criteria. Say, of the 1990s: Winona Ryder, Gwyneth Paltrow, Alicia Silverstone, Kate Hudson, Sarah Michelle Gellar... Crap, that's five. It HAS to be four. So who do we remove? As you can see, this gets very complicated.

    Another difficulty is deciding who fits the criteria. For example, three of today's Mount are pretty much set: in no particular order, Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson and Mila Kunis. But who gets to be the fourth? Jessica Biel is rather stunning, but she is 1/8 Jewish, so we probably shouldn't choose her. Or should we? You see, it's arguments like these that make us return to Hot Jewish Actress Mount Rushmore time and again.

    Still want to accuse us of chauvinism? Well, let's flip it on its head: Hot Jewish ACTOR Mount Rushmore. Have fun, female readers!

    Verdict: Barely a Jew.

    December 20, 2013

    See Also

    Kate Hudson

    Scarlett Johansson

    Mila Kunis

    Natalie Portman

    Alicia Silverstone
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