"Spiders live in the ground and they are our friends." — Rose, aged 2.

We've been caught complaining before about the lack of Jewish-parent paraphernalia. Christian children have all sorts of stories and television shows about Christmas and Santa. For the smaller members of the Tribe there's... Well there's that claymation Passover thing. And, um....

Yeah.

In any case, there's good news (sort of)! There is actually a whole series of children's books about the Jewish holidays including Chanukah, Passover, Purim, Tu B'shvat, Shavuos, and even Simchat Torah. And it features an adorable little... spider.

Yes, Christians can have their cute furry bears and reindeer. We Jews get a hairy arach...

Oh fuck it. We were gonna read the books and talk about how nice it is to have a Jewish protagonist but, honestly, we couldn't get past the cover.

It's a goddammed spider! A big, disgusting bug. And yes, they eat other insects. So great. But that doesn't mean we want to see the spiders go about their business. Or celebrate our holidays with them. Or buy books with a picture of a giant rainbow colored one hanging ominously over the seder plate.

Are we biased by our own arachnophobia? Maybe a little. But, honestly, it's hard enough to sell the little ones on the merits of tribe membership without a gaggle of gigantic, eight-legged, nightmare fuel.

*shudder*