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    Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, Dr. Margulis. I know our weekly appointments are on Thursdays, but I just couldn't take it anymore!

    Do you have a brother, Dr. Margulis? Well, I have one! One who is better than me at everything. EVERYTHING, Dr. Margulis!

    Do you know what's it like to live in your younger brother's shadow? Oh, look at that Moses! Oh, he is so great! Oh, let's all follow him, blah blah blah! But what about Aaron? What about ME?

    It's not just the people. It's G-d. Yeah, G-d, Dr. Margulis. I've been trying to talk to G-d for years! But does G-d answer? No. Not even once! That little schmuck Moses? He doesn't even try, and G-d talks to him. Why is that, Dr. Margulis? Why had G-d forsaken me in favor of him?

    I'm tired of this, Dr. Margulis! I'm tired of being a good brother, a good Jew! Screw this! And screw G-d! There, I said it! Next time Moses goes off on his little walks, I'll show him! I'll build a new G-d! From silver! Or make it gold! And I'll make it... a monkey! That's right, a golden monkey! We'll see how Jews like that! Well, maybe not a monkey... A giraffe? A golden giraffe? Maybe a hippo? I'll figure it out! I'll show you, Moses! I'LL SHOW YOU!

    What's this, Dr. Margulis? We're out of time? But... I have so much on my mind! No, I understand, I understand, other patients are waiting. See you Thursday?

    Verdict: Jew.

    April 14, 2014

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