There will be two types of responses to this profile: 1) They finally profiled the Koch brothers!, and 2) Who the heck are the Koch brothers? Let's deal with the second one first.

The Koch brothers are billionaire siblings known for their numerous contributions to right-wing causes. There are four brothers altogether; however, when one says "Koch brothers", one only means Charles and David. (We're not sure why the other two are excluded.) We did catch one of the four on TV; he is apparently some kind of a collector who pays hundreds of thousands for a bottle of wine (and was sold bathtub swill in the process). In any case, their possibly Jewish last name raises the usual question. So here's the answer: no, they are not Jewish. German/Dutch/WASPy goys.

Now for the first part: why did it take us so long? Well, it's quite simple. We don't give a rat's ass about the Koch brothers...