Frank Dux is a lie, and we're very pissed off about it.

Alright, let's begin at the beginning. Who the hell is Frank Dux?

You know the movie Bloodsport? No? Shame on you. It's the quintessential 1980s martial arts flick. Jean-Claude Van Damme (of course) stars as an American who travels to the Far East and defeats all comers in a top secret tournament. There's a montage and a catchy song. Van Damme does a split in the air. This movie has it all.

Van Damme plays "Frank Dux" (the importance of the quotes will become obvious soon). After the movie is over, the screen flashes with various facts. Frank Dux is real! This is all based on a true story! He really did defeat all those martial masters! He retired undefeated! He holds all sort of records! He even started his own ninjtsu school!

Lies, lies, all lies. "Frank Dux" is an invention of Frank Dux, and he is as real as Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. For 40 years, Dux has spun tall tales of his endeavors, and Hollywood bought them, hook, line and sinker. And so did we, gullible viewers. So did we.

Yet Dux goes on claiming that his tales are real. The reason no record of them exists? Because they are top secret! The trophy that he won overseas was manufactured down the road in California? Coincidence! The paper trail of the international organization that supposedly staged the tournament leads to Dux's house? Must be a mistake!

Dux's claim that he is Jewish?

If only that was a lie, too...