Are you Jewish?

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Dear gentile mothers,

Imagine, if you will, that your grown-up son comes up to you, and says, "Mom, I renounce our religion!"

"Sure," you might say. He is no longer a child. He can make his own decisions. After all, there are plenty of denominations to choose from. Just so long as he doesn't pick Judaism.

Of course, that's not the end of it. "I renounce dad, too! He is no longer my father! From now on, I will be known as the Son of God."

"Sure," you say again. That doesn't sound too shabby at all. Son of God? What does that make you? Oh boy!

But he goes on. "And I'm gonna start my own religion, the symbol of which will be the image of my death! But don't worry, Mom, you will be honored as well. Everyone will call you 'The Virgin' and place a likeness of you on their front lawns next to a garden gnome!"

Well, you always did like garden gnomes...

Dear Jewish mothers,

Imagine, if you will, that your grown-up son comes up to you, and says, "Mom, I renounce our religion!"

"Hmmmm," you might say. He is no longer a child. Maybe it's time to let go.

Of course, that's not the end of it. "I renounce dad, too! He is no longer my father! From now on, I will be known as the Son of God."

"Hmmmm," you say again. You would have preferred him to be a doctor, but at least the kid has some ambition.

But he goes on. "And I'm gonna start my own religion, the symbol of which will be the image of my death! But don't worry, Mom, you will be honored as well. Everyone will call you 'The Virgin' and place a likeness of you on their front lawns next to a garden gnome!"

Oy gevalt! Everything else — the renouncing of religion, the father, this you could live with. But a garden gnome?! That's just meshuggenah.