Caspar: Well, I just talked to the night manager. They are out of rooms.
Balthazar: Out of rooms?
Caspar: The insurance sales convention is in town.
Melchior: Did you tell him how wise and important we were?
Caspar: He said it didn't matter, we had to book in advance.
Balthazar: What do you mean, in advance?
Melchior: He probably just wanted to haggle. You know how these Jews like to haggle!
Balthazar: You didn't have to go there!
Melchior: Go where?
Caspar: Balthazar, Melchior, enough arguing. Let's face the facts. We don't have a place to stay.
Melchior: Did you try to slip him a 20?
Caspar: 20 what?
Melchior: You know, a 20.
Caspar: No, I don't know.
Melchior: 20 shekels!
Caspar: Why don't YOU try to slip him 20 shekels? Oh, I know, you don't have any money! Who goes on a long trip with just a bag of frankincense?
Melchior: A frankincense salesman!
Caspar: Then slip him a bag of frankincense!
Melchior: Oh come on, no one is gonna trade us a room for that...
Melchior: Unless what?
Balthazar: We might not be able to stay in a hotel, but there is a manger nearby...
Caspar: A manger?
Balthazar: Yeah, a manger. You know, camels, sheep, and the like. Cows.
Caspar: You expect us to stay in the manger with... cows? I'm not a young man like you, Balthazar!
Balthazar: What, you have a better idea?
Melchior: Can't do the manger, I checked already. There is a young couple staying there. The woman is pregnant.
Balthazar: So what? It's a pretty big manger. We'll just push the cows out.
Caspar: And camels? And sheep?
Balthazar: We'll tie them outside. They'll be OK for one night.
Melchior: Are you not listening? The manger is already rented out!
Balthazar: Hear me out. We just need to pool our resources. Caspar, you have that bag of gold...
Caspar: I come all this way to see a nice Jewish dentist, and you want me to give up my gold?
Balthazar: Not the whole bag, damn it! And Melchior, you have that frankinstein...
Balthazar: Whatever. They make perfumes out of that, right? Women love perfumes!
Caspar: And what are you gonna pool with my gold and his... frankincense?
Caspar: Come again?
Balthazar: Myrrh. It's like gum.
Caspar: You chew it?
Balthazar: Chew it, boil it, put it in medicine. Good stuff.
Caspar: Is that an African thing?
Balthazar: Did you have to go there?
Caspar: I'm just saying...
Balthazar: Who cares if it's an African thing! That will make it exotic. So, with my myrrh, your gold, and his... frankinbeans...
Balthazar: We'll make them an offer they can't refuse.
Melchior: I doubt they'll take any offer. I told you, the woman is pregnant!
Balthazar: So what? It's not like she is gonna give birth tonight...
Melchior: What if she does?
Balthazar: Sheesh! We'll just deal with it! Oh, I know! We'll tell them the gifts are for the newborn! They must let us in then!
Caspar: This is crazy enough to work...
Balthazar: Of course, it's gonna work! Melchior, are you in?
Melchior: Fine, I'm in. What choice do I have?
Balthazar: Come on, Caspar!
Caspar: I'm coming, I'm coming. You know, I just love babies...
Balthazar: You love babies, he loves babies, we all love babies! Let's go!
Caspar: You know what would be a good name? Larry...
Balthazar: Fine, we'll tell them to name the baby Larry! Now hurry up! It's getting dark!