Sports journalists are being replaced by robots. It's sad, but true: computer software is now being used to write game reports.

So we're gonna get ahead of the curve: create our own software to write profiles. And what better place to start than the world of sport! Our robot has written profiles for football, baseball, basketball, hockey, and soccer!

Unless you closely follow professional basketball, you probably haven't heard of Tiago Splitter. He is a rather useful role player who plays power forward for the Philadelphia 76ers. Last year, Splitter played in 8 games and scored 39 points. He is known for his defense.

Unless you closely follow Tiago Splitter, you wouldn't think that he is Jewish. Well, he is! Splitter's family comes from Brazil. He is one of few Jewish players in the NBA.

Oy, vey! What a surprising Jew!

Well, looks like we're out of a job. Joke's on you, robots: it doesn't pay a cent!