Today, we're gonna solve a huge mystery. Yes, the Loch Ness Monster. It's gonna be a doozy!
Did you know that the monster has Yiddish roots? Don't take our word, it's right there in the name:
Loch comes from the Yiddish לאָך (lokh), hole. (It can also be used as slang for a female body part, but let's not go there.) Ness come from the Yiddish נס (nes), miracle. Monster comes from... well, it's just monster, so you have "monster of the miracle hole".
Of course, just because the monster has a Jewish name, doesn't necessarily make it (her? him?) a Jew. In fact, we're pretty sure she (he? it?) isn't. Keeping kosher on the lake's floor would be rather difficult, to say the least. And then there is the definite lack of circumcision... (Unless it's a her?)
What? You're saying that loch is just Scottish for "lake", and ness means "promontory"? Ummmmm...
Well, the joke is on you! The Loch Ness Monster isn't even real!