"So prepare yourself for the bloody mayhem and unholy carnage of 'Paint Your Wagon'." — Bart Simpson

"With blood, I hope!" — Homer Simpson

So begins a rather regrettable season 9 clip show episode of "The Simpsons". Bart and Homer sadly discover that "Paint Your Wagon" is a musical that contains very little blood... and we discover that "Paint Your Wagon" was an actual, real Broadway play, which was later made into a movie.

The not-so-classic was created by playwright and lyricist Alan Jay Lerner, with music by fellow landsman Frederick Loewe. Lerner was actually rather renowned: he won three Oscars (two for screenplays, one for song) and three Tonys. He created some of the industry's most famous musicals: "Gigi" and a little hit called "My Fair Lady".

As for "Paint Your Wagon"? From the NY Times review of the movie: "Clint Eastwood sings like a moose."

"Singing is the lowest form of communication." — Homer Simpson

We don't disagree...