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    How well do you know the Biblical story of Onan? It's right there in Genesis, after Joseph's abduction. Doesn't ring a bell? Well, let us tell the tale...

    Joseph's older brother Judah had three sons. We are concerned with the oldest two, Er and Onan. Er married a local woman named Tamar. So far so good.

    Er was wicked, so G-d killed him. This rapidly took a turn for the worse.

    Judah was left with a windowed daughter-in-law. Being a pragmatist, he quickly came up with a solution: she should marry Onan. That must have been one awkward reception.

    Unfortunately for Onan, the marriage came with a caveat: since Er was the first-born, the first male child born to Tamar would inherit Judah's wealth. Onan would be left with bupkis. So he came up with an ingenious plan.

    Is this a family website? Well, this is all in the Bible, we're just rehashing it, so here goes. Every time Onan had sex with Tamar, he pulled out. Onan invented contraception.

    G-d would have none of that, and killed Onan. The end.

    Well, not really the end. The "sin of Onan" became a rule that does not allow sex for any reason other than procreation in various fundamentalist Judaeo-Christian sects.

    Perhaps Onan had the last laugh: the word "onanism" exists in many languages as a synonym for...

    Did we say this was a family website?

    Verdict: Jew.

    May 8, 2020

    See Also

    Bilhah and Zilpah


    Pee-wee Herman


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