Robert Metcalfe recently won the Turing Award for inventing the Ethernet. Good for him, we guess. Goyim can get their time in the sun. Just one small problem: he didn't really invent the Ethernet.

As we previously discussed, Radia Perlman was the one that actually achieved the breakthrough that made the Ethernet fully functional. But she didn't invent the Ethernet either.

The first ever Ethernet was developed in 1971 at the University of Hawaii by a team led by Norman Abramson. It was delightfully named ALOHAnet, with ALOHA standing for "Additive Links On-line Hawaii Area". Yes, "on-line". Back in 1971. Some were still using slide rules.

In any case, Perlman did make it work at scale, and Metcalfe did help to transform ALOHAnet into what we now know as Ethernet... Only he originally called it Aloha Alto, clearly showing where it came from.

Alas, Abramson passed away in 2020, without a Turing Award to his name. But then again, he got to live in Hawaii and invent world-altering technology...

There are worse fates.