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    Alan Greenspan

    Jew Score:



    March 6, 1926 —

    Do you remember the late, great, 1998?

    Monica Lewinsky became the first Jew to hold a position in the Oval Office. Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa's home run chase made everyone look past their ginormous heads. The good people of Minnesota elected a former pro wrestler to be their governor. The Pets.com puppet won America's hearts. And although Tom Cruise was insane, he kept it private.

    And the economy? Oh, the economy.

    The economy could do no wrong. The Internet opened previously unimaginable possibilities. The stock market was climbing and climbing. And, clutching the almighty dollar in our hand, we felt like kings during our trips to Europe.

    And we all prayed at the altar of Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan. He made it all come together.

    Flash forward ten years.

    Lewinsky and Jesse Ventura are distant memories, McGwire and Sosa have been outed, and Cruise is a certifiable nut job.

    And the economy? Don't get us started on the economy.

    Oh well. We'll always have 1998. We'll always have that time when a Jew led America to a period of financial prosperity and bliss.

    And as for all the Pets.com stock we bought? Well, at least we have enough wallpaper to last a lifetime.

    Verdict: Jew.

    October 10, 2008

    See Also

    Ben Bernanke

    Tim Geithner

    Monica Lewinsky

    Barbara Walters

    Janet Yellen
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