As we watch various canoeing and kayaking events at the Olympics, you know what thought has never entered our mind?

"What if the competitors could hit each other? With oars?"

That's just absurd, right? Traversing the rowdy rapids is hard enough. And those pesky gates...

Hold that thought.

Introducing kayak cross, a new event at the 2024 Olympics... where competitors race four at a time, and — get this — can hit each other. With oars.

Don't worry, there are rules. For example, oars "may not have sharp edges". Whew. We were worried for a second there.

Competing in the new event for Australia is Noemi Fox, a two-time world champion in various (non-violent) kayaking events. If her name sounds familiar, her multi-medalling sister Jessica is back in 2024 as well, and is a favorite in the (non-cross) events.

Now let's think how to make other sports more violent... Archery seems like an obvious one, doesn't it?

(Editor's update, August 5, 2024: Gold for Noemie, to go with two more (non-violent) golds for Jessica!)