"Do you like movies about gladiators?" — Captain Oveur, "Airplane!"

ACT I: Judea, 2nd century CE. Young Shim, a muscular, strapping lad, drops out of yeshiva. He is low on money, so he sells himself to a gladiator circus. He becomes a champion, but after an injury (that's not in the source material, but we need a reason for him to move on), he quits the circus and becomes a bandit, robbing Jews and goyim alike.

ACT II: After one raid, Shim approaches a river, where the most gorgeous creature is swimming naked. Shim is stunned; he disrobes, enters the water, and embraces the bathing beauty. One big problem: it's a man! (This IS all in the source material! The Babylonian Talmud, to be exact.)

The man is rabbi Johan, and he is not exactly into the whole gay thing. So he makes Shim a deal: if he goes back to the yeshiva, he can have Johan's sister's hand in marriage.

ACT III: Shim becomes a wise rabbi and Johan's BFF... Yeah, that's quite boring, so we obviously have to diverge from the source material (can we really trust it anyway?) and delve deep into the obvious love triangle.

It's all in "The Gladiator Rabbi", a gay romp through ancient Judea! What do you say, Hollywood?